Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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