3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
