Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
