i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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