Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
