I could have mohawked her pubes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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