well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
