fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My feet surprised me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
