waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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