Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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