its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sarcasm needs its own font
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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