he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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