Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
