It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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