We should be called the Road Head Warriors
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
