Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this just has baby written all over it
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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