I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
