I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
