We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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