My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
