dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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