My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
