Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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