that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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