i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
