Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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