And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
