i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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