Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
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