dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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