Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
