she kept yelling 'call me bella'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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