Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
