garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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