Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
