i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
