Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize