So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
