fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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