I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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