No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Watching her eat just hurts me
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
