Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
