were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize