hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
barbara walters just said penis...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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