Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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