weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
