OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
