butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
