she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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