my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize