Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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