Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
