We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
