you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
