I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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