He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
