Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
