She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize