He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
