lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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