and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
