I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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