I need help removing her.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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